Bite Me Like You Mean It
by billismine
Summary: My final answer to Dead Ever After. Twenty two years have passed. Sookie married Sam. They raised a family in the sunshine. After living abroad for many years, Bill Compton returns to Bon Temps for a very special visit. This is a story about Bill & Sookie. No Chapters. This is a One-Shot deal. I own nothing.


Bite Me Like You Mean It

[ My _final answer_ to _Dead Ever After. _Twenty~one years have passed. Sookie is now a mature woman. She married Sam. And they raised a family together in the sunshine. Bill Compton, who has been living abroad for many years, makes a very special return to Bon Temps. No chapters. This is a one~shot dealJ Copyright disclaimer applies: I own nothing.

Warning: this story is intended for a Mature Audience. There is Adult language/content/sexuality. If this is not your cup of tea, please move on to stories that will suit you better. But, if you are not offended by the honest and sometimes raw depiction of relationships, I hope you will be entertained & enjoy! And now…..

Bite Me Like You Mean It

"_Someday…you will forget all the hurt, the reasons you cried will fade with time and seem less important. You will emerge from your tunnel of pain. Because it is not your life you grieve for. You will come to realize that the secret to being happy and free, is not by forcing anything. But by letting the deepest thing that lives inside your soul unfold in its own way and in its own time… I know that is very hard to believe right now…but it is true…in time._

_I tell you these things because I love you. And you must find your own way._

_After all, what really matters is not how we start out in life, but the last part. And how well we lived….._

Sookie learned quite by accident that he had come back into town.

Back home to Bon Temps.

As if anything can ever really be an accident.

She had always wondered just how she would feel if it ever actually happened.

Between making sure that C.J. was not late for his dental appointment and finding the time to call Isobel to check and see if she had sent the four extra commencement tickets by Fed Ex, Sookie overheard the conversation between two young girls in the dentist's waiting room. They were each looking forward to their visit at _Fangtasia_ later that evening.

"…Not now! But he _used to be _the Vampire King of Louisiana, livin' in that old white house with the black shutters out on Drawbridge Road. You know, the one….next to the cemetery?" one girl had said to the other, loud enough for Sookie to hear it.

Sookie's ears had perked up. She absent~mindedly flipped the pages of the magazine she was holding. Her body involuntarily jumped. Her mouth went suddenly went dry.

"Oh yeah," said the second girl;"I remember… my Momma used to talk about how in the early days when she was our age, the vamps first came out. She and her friends used to ride to Shreveport and protest them comin' outta their coffins! Can you imagine? Nobody believed in that _Tru Blood back then. Everybody was worried sick, she said. _And _he_ was on the news all the time for the AVL. Compton. That's his name. Bill Compton. Of course, he's not the vampire king anymore. He works for the their Authority now, or something.' One of my friends who works at _Fangtasia _says all the vamps around are excited that he's back in town right now. I wonder if he's back to stay?"

Sookie was staring ahead at the wall in front of her. She could barely move. Her thoughts were all tumbling around thinking of so many things at once. More than her telepathy, which she did not need at all while listening to those girls seated only a few feet away from her in the dentist's office, Sookie now had the gift of hindsight, as well. Because twenty~one years had passed by. _Bill _had been out of her life for a long, long time.

Her stomach did a somersault, as she listened to the girls talking about _Bill. _She had so many questions. _Why_ was he suddenly back in Bon Temps?

How long would he stay? What vampire business would bring him here after all these years?

Sookie was thankful that she had this information ahead of time.

Before their eyes would meet again. Was _Bill _planning on coming by the house?

Now she knew. After years of having time to think about the past and what had happened before, she knew. _Bill _had put all his hopes and dreams of redemption and his happiness, his peace of mind, into Sookie. When first they met. Sookie came to realise that when she and _Bill _first met, he fell in love with her for so many reasons. Not just as a young woman he had fallen head over heels for. Not just someone he loved being with, making love to, and sharing everything he dared to while being on that deadly assignment for his queen. _Bill _had seen Sookie as his salvation. He had seen her as the one opening to a new life. His 'miracle,' as he had called her once.

And for all the love they had shared, she knew _Bill_ had to stop thinking of her in terms of being his complete happiness. Especially so, after Sookie had made her decision to go another way. To marry Sam.

But she had to admit, a part of her had always secretly loved all the excitement, all the drama and the danger that had come with being involved with vampires, so long ago. And _Bill Compton, _in particular. She could finally admit it to herself. All those years ago, she used to whine and complain about it constantly. When she and _Bill _were together and in the very thick of things. _Vampire business. _Sookie had kept telling herself that she could never life that way for long. She _hated _supernatural politics. The surprises, most of them, unwelcome. The meanness. And the bloody destruction. And the deaths that she had been involved with. All the uncertainty of whether or not she would even survive to the next day….the next hour. _Vampire business. _It had all taken its toll on her after a while. And as sympathetic as she had been regarding the mainstreaming vampires….as much as she wanted them to success in 'coming out,' as much as the struggle had been placing her smack dab in the middle of it all and had become a daily source of consternation….Sookie was glad it was all finished. Done. _That_ was no way to live, Sookie had told herself time and time again. So she had said yes, to Sam.

_I am mostly human. I want a normal life! I want my live back! _

Some people would say yeah….it had to be me and Sam, Sookie thought. She had always clung to the familiar things in life. In times of trouble or upset. Sookie knew she was a small town girl. And Sam had his future invested in that small town. Sookie opted for the predictable life. Cleaning house, making meals, her garden, her home. Getting and keeping a gorgeous tan. She could not sing. But she loved to dance! Be polite. Seat everyone and get them a drink when they come inside the house.

To that day, she still questioned what Gran would feel about things? What would Gran do?

Sam had even teased her about it. He had called it the big WWGD, whenever Sookie was in doubt about anything. The WWGD part of her brain would kick in!

Sam had loved her for so long…long before the vamps had come out of their coffins.

Sam Merlotte had been a loner. Maybe he basically still is. He disliked the drama. Wanted to live a happy, peaceful life running his establishment and being a productive part of humanity. Even though he is a shape shifter. He wanted the American Dream. Which is what Sookie had proclaimed over and over again, that is what she wanted, too.

Sam has morals and principles. And those things had always matched up with Sookie's, more or less. Sookie had accepted her choice as a small town girl from the south, who peddles beer and French fried for a living. Who was raised by her beloved grandmother, who had small town sensibilities. Small town values and needs. These were the things that Sookie had always, always felt completely comfortable with. Sam and Sookie had so much in common. Sam had always been a true friend and confidante.

There had been so much between them ~Sam and Sookie ~ to build a life together on. The kind of life that would make each of them feel happy. And relatively secure. And she had that. Right that very moment when she heard those two girls talking about _Bill Compton _that morning.

_Bill…._ always knew that.

He had always honored what Sookie needed most. So Sookie let go of the supernatural world.

She had found her normal life. Her relatively normal husband, Sam, practically in her own back yard. She had her babies. Her life in the sunshine. The family that was so important to her.

_Still _important to her…

Twenty-one years ago, Sookie wanted it to be known, by all her friends and family, that the only way to really understand her was with _common sense. _

_Right? _She wasn't _crazy_ enough to keep stressing herself out with vampires.

Now….the past she thought was resolved and put away in never~never land, was apparently back. She had not heard his name spoken out loud in years. Had not spoken his name herself, in years. She remembered the night he left Bon Temps…

At first, she thought _Bill_ was not going to say good~bye. But _Bill_ would never be that cruel to her. Not at all. Not after everything they had shared. They had been so close. They had been a part of each other once.

He did give her a decent good~bye. Fair warning that he was going to leave. And a bittersweet kiss on her cheek…

But before that had happened, _Bill had always been there for her. _

He had watched her get married to Sam. Almost had given her away, as he stood only a few feet from Jason, her brother, at the ceremony.

Sookie _still could not believe he had done that. _But why not?

_Bill _was now a very good friend, she thought.

_Bill_ had come to their wedding. Of course, he was welcome there. _Bill_ had taken her into his arms and he had danced with her like all the other men in the room. It had only lasted three minutes. But they had looked into each other's eyes. Sookie had looked away first.

Later, _Bill_ had stood up and made a toast to the bride and groom. Then he put down the champagne glass because he could not drink it, of course. Sookie remembered, someone handed _Bill _a wine glass full of _Tru Blood, _ had remembered, he had taken a tiny sip of it, then placed the glass down on the table. He had a small smile on his lips.

Sam had borrowed a time~share date in Jacksonville, Florida from a friend he knew at the bar. And that's where he and Sookie had honeymooned.

When they returned a few days later, _Bill _had brought her flowers, just to say 'hello' and hear about their trip. And still, he lived across the cemetery.

Later, Sam moved into Sookie's house. At first, it seemed awkward, but it made the most sense. Sam started fixing things up, immediately. And Sookie appreciated all of Sam's handy~man work. The plumbing. The gutters. Hey, he was her husband. She should not have been surprised, she thought.

Sookie had seen _Bill_ almost every week after that. _Bill _certainly hadproved to her that he had more than one kind of love for Sookie. _Bill had_ remained her friend. The best friend Sookie could have hoped for.

And Sookie was so happy that he had. Because she, too, had more than one kind of love for _Bill Compton. _Their brief interactions with each other had become very pleasant and casual.

Then Sookie became pregnant with Isobel.

As the months passed and her belly swelled with Sam child, Sookie stayed closer and closer to home. Partly, because in her second trimester, she wasn't always feeling great. But she knew it was more than that. She wasn't ashamed of being pregnant, but she thought it may be slightly uncomfortable to have _Bill see her in that condition. _

He proved her wrong. He actually came by the house, unexpectedly, one evening. He and Sookie sat on the porch swing together and talked until Sam came home from Merlotte's. To Sookie's surprise, there was nothing uncomfortable about it. Sookie even told _Bill_ when the baby was moved.

She took _Bill's _hand and placed his palm across the side of her huge belly. And _Bill_ felt the baby kicking. They had laughed together at the wonder of it. There was nothing to be embarrassed about. _Bill _had wanted to be a part of her life. As close as he could. _Bill _had felt the baby move before Sam had.

It seemed their connection to each other had no boundaries…

It had been an incredible time for Sookie. As Sookie lie there in labor, she could not help wondering if _Bill _could feel her going through each and every one of her labor pains.

She had vowed to ask him later, but she never did.

It seemed _Bill _was genuinely happy for Sookie and Sam. There was no bitterness from _Bill _at all. He was there….supporting Sam as the new father…along with Terry and Andy and Jason ~ all the men had gathered in one place before Sookie had given birth. Sam had said he would not be in the delivery room. He just did not want to. And the look on _Bill's _face was so apparent that _he_ would have taken Sam's place…but it was in no way appropriate for him to say that. Sookie just knew _Bill_ would have…

Sookie did it on her own. Arlene was there. Tara lived in Atlanta now and wasn't able to get there before the baby came. Bill had been the third person to hold Sookie's little daughter in his arms. First Sam. Then Jason. Then _Bill. _Sookie had not asked him too. He must have felt her joy.

_Bill_ had just smiled, a bloody tear at the corner of his eye, as he approached the newborn cot and gently cradled the baby up into his arms…

_Bill _was beyond words for a few minutes. He couldn't speak. Sookie stared at him thinking, _Bill must be thinking of his own children at this moment…._

No one knew where Sookie had got the name 'Isobel' from. Everyone had thought maybe they would name the little girl Adele, after Gran. But Sookie had insisted she did not want that. She told Sam that she 'always liked that name.' Isobel.

Isobel Grace Merlotte.

She had ash blonde hair, darker than Sookie's. And Gran's eyes.

Her given middle name was 'Grace,' after the Divine Grace Baptist Church, in Bon Temps. It was Gran's church, where Sookie and Jason had been members all of their lives. And the baby was eventually Baptized there.

_Bill was the only one who knew the truth. _He knewSookie had named her daughter afterIsobel, the vampire woman in Dallas, who had loved a human named Hugo. Loved him so much, that even after his betrayal, she still loved him. Godric had spared his life. That trip to Dallas…so many years ago.

It was the very first time Sookie had met another human, Hugo like herself, who had fallen in love with a vampire, as she had fallen in love with _Bill Compton. _

_Bill _never mentioned this to anyone. So it was a type of secret between him and Sookie knew, _Bill _would always keep her secrets.

_Bill continued to be there. _

Even though he was often times very busy with his vampire business. He and Sookie would smile and wave at each other in passing sometimes, when their paths had casually crossed in town some evenings. They stopped and talked only briefly at some public event or other. And _Bill would come by after dinner _on occasion, bringing Gran's favorite flowers, the blue delphiniums. Sookie would place them in Gran's favorite large ivory vase. The next day, Sookie would walk past the flowers all day long when she was home. She always gave _Bill's_ flowers a conspicuous place on the dining room table. Every time Sookie would pass by the flowers, it made her feel good.

_Bill _had continued to be very prominent in the community with his stature in the vampire monarchy and his local business connections in Bon Temps and throughout the surrounding counties. Everyone knew _Bill Compton! _

Busy or not, he made himself available for the particular things that Sookie needed on a professional level, as well. He would act as a sounding board for anything that she and Sam had been trying to work out with Merlotte's. Anything to do with the business community in general. Sookie and Sam both respected _Bill's _judgment and his business acumen. Gentle persuasion, was _Bill's _forte. He did not even need to 'glamour' anybody. He had the innate ability to work out a deal to most everyone's satisfaction. His knowledge on so many subjects was legendary around those parts.

Between _Bill's _astute cunningand Sam's tenacity, there was no businessman who could say. And no business deal that could not be hammered out.

Through it all, personal or professional, _Bill remained a trusted friend. _Almost nothing could be dearer to Sookie's heart.

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"_People cry not because love dies, but because it still continues on, even after it appears from the outside to be over. Always remember, sometimes for you, the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. And never get tired of doing little things for others. Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts…" _

Jason finally got married. _Bill _was invited. He dropped everything, clearing his schedule, when Sookie called him and told him he simply _must _attend!

_Bill _was sent a written invitation, but he did not seriously consider going until Sookie called him. Later, _Bill_ told her, he could _hear_ the smile in her voice over the cell phone when she sincerely asked him, again.

_Bill_ came to Jason's wedding. Alone. Although, Sookie had asked _Bill _to bring a date along. She even teased him about not bringing a date. She really wanted to see how she feel with _Bill _walking in with a girl on his arm. But it did not happen.

It had been early June. Not too hot yet, by Louisiana standards. And the ceremony had been planned to begin at dusk in the back yard at Sookie's house. Sookie had decorated everything herself. The flowers. The lanterns.

She looked around for _Bill _and finally found him sitting on a back row of guest only caught each other's eye once.

_Bill _had given Sookie that kind, little smile of his. Sort of shy, although she knew _Bill _was not the slightest bit shy. She had wanted to approach him, but there had been a million things to do, with half the town folks attending the nupitals.

When the wedding reception finally began, Sookie thought _Bill_ would ask her to dance. But he never did. _Bill_ did not stay very long after that.

Later in the evening, Sookie realized that he was no longer there.

She remembered the sharp sting of sadness that had chimed through her when she realized _Bill was no longer there. _And then she thought to herself, how selfish it was of her to tell _Bill _that she expected him at yet another wedding? He had come to her _own_ wedding. Wasn't that more than enough?

She tried to block it out somehow, but Sookie fleeting thought of _Bill's _proposal….the French restaurant… Bill had rented out the _whole_ place just for the two of them…Their dance…so thrilling….the ring….

It seemed to Sookie, it all belonged to another life time.

It all belonged to yesteryear.

_Bill was happy to be there for Sookie's family. _Anything that had involved little Isobel as she was growing up. Sookie would sometimes stroll the baby through the cemetery after dinner. And inevitably, they would wind up at _Bill's_. Sometimes, he would watch them approaching as he stood on his long verandah. He played with the baby as they talked about current events.

New books that he was reading. Some silly thing that Sookie had had to deal with as a co~owner at Merlotte's. _Bill _had taken delight in seeing Sookie so happy with her daughter. Sookie remembered those meetings between them had been so warm and relaxed.

I am still close to _Bill, _Sookie had thought.

The months flew by as Isobel went from an arm baby, to a toddler, to a rambunctious two~year~old.

A week or so after Isobel's second birthday, Sookie found out she was pregnant again.

Things did not change immediately. But, along came Sookie's and Sam's little man….. C.J.

And just as before, _Bill _came to Bon Temps General Hospital to see Sookie and the new baby boy. He had tenderly picked up her newborn son and gently kissed his little forehead. He congratulated Sam and Sookie, again. Everything seemed alright, as long as _Bill was there._

Sookie wanted to name the baby boy 'Sam Jr.,' but Sam would not hear of it. Sam insisted that his son must have his _own _name. Sookie would have picked 'Thomas' because she liked it. And because that name had been both Sam's brother's name and _Bill's _middle name. But after thinking about it for a while, she lost her nerve to discuss it with Sam. It was just too obviously a name, too close to _Bill. _She started to have reservations about her judgment where the name was concerned. At the time, she did not want to think about why that bothered her so much. And why she felt she could not discuss it with Sam, at all. _Bill _was their friend, at all. Why was this so disturbing to her?

Sookie told Sam, that the name must have some significant meaning for _him._ Sam was adopted. And he did not want to name the baby for any of the people he knew were in his birth or his adopted families.

So, after thinking about it, Sam picked the name of one of his teacher's that he had so admired from grade school. Charles Saffron. Who had been almost a surrogate father to Sam. And Sookie picked her son's middle name after her brother, Jason.

Charles Jason Merlotte.

Everyone started calling the baby C.J., almost immediately. The baby had Jason's unruly blonde curls. And Sookie's dark brown eyes. Both Sookie and Sam were so glad that neither of their children turned out to be shape~shifters or telepathic. It seemed they cancelled each other out and they were just normal, happy children.

When C.J. was born, _Bill _had cuddled their newborn son in his arms.

Just as he had Isobel. Sookie thought of Thomas and Sarah…_Bill's _children from his human life. In the midst of her happiness, Sookie felt a sadness for _Bill._

_Bill_ smiled at Sookie, and she was positive he knew what she was thinking.

Two weeks later… _Bill_ was making arrangements to leave Bon Temps.

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"_Don't be afraid to go after what you want in life. Go after your dreams. Go after the person you truly love. Because that is what you should do. Don't wait for the one you love to give you a 'sign,' because it might never come. They may be acting noble or unselfish. Don't be afraid to be an idiot even. You might not be one. Take the risk! Follow your heart! Because that is what is real. Beautiful. Generous. Honest. And that is what loving someone or something is. To be unguarded is being true. And in this world, that is all that is worth anything….really." _

It was a major shock to Sookie's system, knowing _Bill _was leaving. The depression she slipped into, everybody contributed it to post~partum, because of the birth of her second child. She was moody, restless, angry even….tearful at times. She lost too much weight. She was losing interest in everything that used to bring her joy. She would not even go into her garden.

It was the second baby, everyone said. But Sookie knew better. It was not post~partum, at all. At least, not the biggest part of her disposition.

She knew exactly what had her feeling so out of sorts and down.

_Bill_ had told everybody about his promotion to a _Chancellor _position in the Authority hierarchy of vampires. The mecca of vampire prestige and vampire power. _Bill would have the ability to make vastly important decisions regarding his kind. Bill _would be in the forefront of everything that happened concerning vampire business. He would have final control.

It was quite an honor for _Bill to be chosen to be one of the few. _

Sookie wanted to be happy for _Bill. _He had always, always taken a positive interest in _her_ life. She did not want _Bill _to see her so sullen and miserable. Sookie did not want to spoil anything for _Bill. Not in any way. He had worked so hard and he deserved all of this recognition from his peers._

But his departure was so unexpected. It was tearing Sookie's heart out to see him go. She knew it wasn't fair to _Bill _for her not to want this for him. To have mixed emotions about it. So irrationally, selfish and unfair, the part of her that wanted _Bill _to never leave her. It was just ugly of her to think that way she thought.

It was time… It was truly the end of her time with _Bill._

Rationally, she knew this was the beginning of her mortal life continuing without _Bill Compton _in it. It was incredibly hard to let him go.

Sookie pulled herself up, as she had always done. She had to. Little people needed her. Her children. She fully immersed herself into her children. She concentrated all of her positive energy on being the best mother she could be. She wanted to prove that to Sam. It wasn't fair to hold on so tightly to _Bill Compton._

Hehad been there on the perimeter of her life. But no more.

Life would go on… Sookie had to throw herself into it.

The every day and every night running of Merlotte's Bar & Grill.

Late deliveries. Wrong deliveries. No deliveries. Payroll had to be met. Employees schedules. Taxes. The occasion unruly customer. Worrying about the business bills. And the household bills.

The running of the house itself. Grocery~shopping. Cleaning. Remodling. Painting and replacing old and worn out appliances and other things. A new truck for Sam. New equipment for the bar. Baby~sitters for the kids. The play dates for Isobel. The birthday parties for Isobel's little friends. Church on Sundays. School pictures. Elementary school. Homework. Dance Recitals for Isobel. Trumpet lessons for C.J. Family trips to the beach. Camping excursions in the fall to High Rock Lake Park. Junior high. Homework. Braces for Isobel. Science projects. High school. Football games. C.J.'s appendectomy. Baseball games. Scholarship proposals. Isobel's piano recitals. C.J.'s class trip to Washington, D.C. Alumni raffles.

All the little parts of life that fit together, strung together, rolling out into the days, the weeks, the months of your life. And before you know it, the years have passed by. Twenty~two years!

Sookie sat there in the dentist's office, waiting for C.J., thinking back all of this. And of course, now that she knew _Bill _was back in Bon Temps, her mind drifted to the moment when she had finally, really had to say good~bye to _Bill. _She had avoided thinking about him as much as possible. Had not let her mind go there, in a very long had been the strangest feeling ever for her. He had been a friend only after she had married Sam. _Bill had been so much more than just a friend._

He had been her first love. Her first…. in every way.

And it had hurt to watch him walk out of her life. So suddenly.

But after all, she had to admit, it was _her life, not his. _

Even though, a part of her knew this, it had been the hardest thing to accept. It was better for him, Sookie admitted to herself. They both knew that.

But it did not make it any easier for Sookie. The bond they had shared was still there. Indelible. Immovable. Something that time would not erase.

And she could not help but reminisce on the love they had.

So much so, it surprised Sookie as to just how much she dreaded back then seeing _Bill ~ _for what she thought might be ~ the very last time.

They had never talked about love…not after she married Sam. There had been no place in her world for a conversation like that. Her children were her first priority. Neither she nor _Bill_ had wanted to open that door. And even if either one of them had wanted to, Sookie knew that out of respect for her, _Bill _would never bring it up.

Never speak the words.

That door was shut. Locked, Sookie said to herself.

_Bill knows my life is with Sam now. And our children. _

There was a relief for her in knowing that there was nothing else going to be said about their former relationship. The _passion _that had existed between them for so long. _Hers and Bill's._ It had been silently understood between them while _Bill _was pocketed neatly into the _friend _category of _Sookie's life_. She had another life now….and there was no question of going back… not for any reason.

Sookie remembered that_ Bill _had said good~bye to her in front of Sam. It was just as properly done as it should have been, Sookie thought. _That was Bill. That was how he wanted to say goodb~bye. _And that's what Sookie expected from him.

But, if she would be completely honest with herself ~ and at the time she could not afford to feel that emotion ~ there was a part of Sookie that ached to _hug_ _Bill for a few seconds longer. Right before he left, there was that need in her that wanted to remember what they had meant to each other._

When he said good~bye to her and Sam, part of her was _angry_ with Bill. Because he was doing everything so _gentlemanly!_ So right and proper. What had she truly expected? Had she really wanted him to pull her away? Have a tryst with her behind Sam's back? That would never happen, she thought.

But she wanted to kiss _Bill's _mouth. The final time he looked into her eyes, she wanted to put her arms around him and kiss him with unbridled feeling! But it could not happen.

She could not hug or kiss _Bill _the way she wanted to with Sam watching.

An instant later, the thought of it filled Sookie with shame and guilty.

Sookie dropped her head with a sigh, at the memory of that day.

_Bill _walked out of her life. And her life went on without him.

The last thing he had told them [her and Sam together] was that he was going to live in New Orleans for a while. After that, overseas to Paris. _Paris! Sookie thought. _With side trips to London to visit Jessica, who had become quite the social butterfly in Europe, _Bill _had said. He would see Jess, he said, when his work took him to London. And that was all he said, or could say, about his new appointment to the Authority Headquarters. It was far more clandestine than the American Vampire League ever could be, as Sookie remembered.

_Bill's new job _was very serious and secretive and hush~hush. Sookie was so proud of him. She knew in her heart that _Bill would exceed at anything he became involved in. _Andshe knew she had to let him go. Why was she suddenly thinking about _Bill _with other women? Of course there are other women. Humans or vampires, she did not know. But _Bill_ had always been very discreet in Bon Temps. He had never brought anyone to the weddings or the dinners. Sookie had never seen him out with anyone. She did not know if they were important to him or just fang~bangers.

But there was something about _Bill going overseas _that unleashed Sookie's imagination and her _jealousy! Bill and other women. _After everything that _Bill _had witnessed happening in Sookie's life, _why was she thinking about this?_ Human nature is so awful, sometimes, Sookie thought. Jealous that _Bill _might find comfort in another woman's arms. Not something Sookie wanted to know.

_Bill _left town. And from that point forward, her life had had nothing to do with _Bill Compton. No calls. No letters. No updates of any kind from anywhere. _

For a long while, it was almost physically painful to have _Bill _gone.

All 'that crazy vampire stuff,' as Sam had called it, was in the past… for both of them.

Eric Northman had moved out of state before Sookie ever married Sam.

He had moved on to royalty status, marrying the vampire queen of Oklahoma. Sookie knew for certain, she would never lay eyes on Eric again.

Pam had become a sheriff and started running _Fangtasia_ a long time ago. Neither Sookie nor Sam ever had occasion to see her in Shreveport. And that was a good thing.

_Bill _had never involved Sookie in any way with vampire business after she and Sam were married. Sookie definitely got the jest that a 'deal' had been struck to keep her safe and out of harm's way. Eric had had a part to play in making sure that Sookie was left alone. And frankly, she did not want to know every detail of it.

Sookie had finally come to realise that her affair with Eric had only been an unsatisfactory way to deal with her complicated and hurtful betrayal by _Bill._

She had never seen Eric Northman clearly, until she had been forced into it. Eric had always been ruthless and self-serving. Other than the time when he had lost his memory, Eric's 'love' for Sookie, no matter how passionately expressed, had always come _second or third_ to his monumental ego.

And his unyielding will to have things always _his own way_. Especially regarding Sookie. And Sookie knew she had hurt _Bill _very deeply when she turned to Eric for solace, comfort and of course revenge.

Finally, Sookie realized, after growing up a bit, being with Eric ,she had been flirting with danger and disaster at the same time. The vampire world itself is tough. Raw. Primitive. After a whirlwind of involvement, Sookie had licked her wounds and wanted to retreat. She knew, instinctively, that a big part of her needed something less dramatic in her life.

Sam was steady, uncomplicated and dependable. At least, that's what she had told herself.

Sam's near-death experience, finally gave him the courage to put an ultimatum to Sookie. And in spite of the passion she still felt for _Bill,_ she tamped it all down, buried it, so to speak, and said _Yes_ to Sam Merlotte.

_Yes,_ to a normal life._ She went round and round about it in her head!_

For once , Sookie's curiosity was held at bay. And the deal that sprung her free of vampire business was completely acceptable. As long as _Bill _and Sam were satisfied with it, it was fine with her.

_Bill _had had that conversation with Sam and that was good enough for Sookie. It protected her and her children. And that was all that battered, shell~shocked and disillusioned Sookie cared about.

_Stop the ride! I want to get off now!_

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"_You need to learn that your actions do affect other people. So please, be careful what you say and do. It's not always just about you… A relationship of love is more than just dating, holding hands and kissing. It's about…accepting each other's weirdness and flaws. It's about …being yourself and finding happiness together. How can I make you understand? It's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly…."_

"Momma?"

Before she realized it, C. J.'s dental appointment was over and he was standing next to his mother as she sat in the dentist's waiting room. It had only been a routine check~up. Sookie had been totally lost in her thoughts of the past.

"All done?" Sookie asked, smiling at her handsome 17~year~old son and brushing her hand through his blond hair.

"Yes ma'am….can I please drive the car home?" C. J. asked his mother with pleading eyes.

He always wanted to drive now. Every chance he could get. Sookie shook her head with a smirk.

"O.k…sure, honey" Sookie said grabbing a tuft of his blonde curls in her fingers;"…obey the speed limits, young man."

Sookie dropped the magazine on the chair and they left the dentist's office together. She could hardly believe that C.J. had a Learners Permit already. And soon… in the same week he would be graduating from Bon Temps High School and his older sister Isobel was graduating from college, in Baton Rouge.

Sookie and Sam were so proud of their children. They had worked intently together to give them a good upbringing and raise them right.

Later, the steam rose up before her, as Sookie sat down in some hot bath water. She needed this. The solitude of the closed bathroom door. And the hot water engulfing her. Her solitary thoughts. More time to sort out exactly what she was feeling, now that she knew _Bill Compton_ was back in town.

At forty~seven years, Sookie Stackhouse was taking stock of everything she had always believed. The life she had lived, and everything that had mattered to her for decades.

Since the time she had been a little girl, Gran had told her about certain things in life. And what brings happiness and fulfillment into life for a girl. A woman. For as long as she had been alive, home and children and church and community and _fitting in_ were all lifelong goals for Sookie.

Meeting a vampire had been an unexpected detour. Veering off the road. Taking a segway, a path that was not supposed to happen. But it _did _happen.

Why was she starting to feel like nothing made sense anymore, after all this time.

Wasn't it all supposed to still line up and feel _right…even now_? Why was she feeling now like there was something desperately wrong?

Now that she knew _Bill was back._

Sookie slid even further down into the hot water in the tub. She submerged herself up to her chin. The water glistened up close to her nose.

She closed her eyes.

The thought of _Bill being _just across the cemetery again… that he could be at home right that very moment…permeated her consciousness. The thought of him being home excited her. Made her feel queasy and restless. Strangely happy. And she wondered to herself when, _when_ would she see him again?

Some questions are best left unanswered, she thought. And some answers are best left unquestioned. She sighed heavily.

Hadn't she done the _right thing? _The thing that Gran had instilled in her? WWGD? The thing that would always bring a woman the most happiness in life? Find a man who respects you. Who shares your religion. Your community values. A man who wants children. A man who wants to settle down. A man who wants the same exact things in life as you do. Isn't that the recipe for lasting love?

Sookie had been happy…all these years. She had a happy life. With Sam. No doubt about that. There was nothing for Sookie to complain about. Nothing.

Sookie had exactly what she had aimed for.

What some women would _kill_ for.

Love. Home. Children.

Sookie breathed deeply. She and Sam eat breakfast together. Pay bills together. Do yard work together. Sam can even block her telepathy when he wants to. But most of the time, even if he doesn't it's okay, because Sookie did not mind the things Sam was thinking. He was always thinking of her and the kids. How he could make their lives better. Easier. Happier.

Sam is a good man. He has always been good.

What is 'normal?' Sookie continued to debate with herself.

Normal is what's normal for you. She was never going to make it with a strictly human guy. And a vampire wouldn't come close to 'normal.' That's a no~brainer, Sookie grunted to herself. Why was she now putting her life on trial in her head?

Questioning everything that had felt _rock solid_ less than 24~hours ago?

After living that life for twenty~two years ~ and hearing about it all her life that _this_ was the way things should be ~there she was, submerged in her hot water bath….thinking about what might have been….

So, what did it all come down to? Did it all boil down to _fear and laziness _maybe? Did she settle for the easy way out? It's not _easy raising a family!_

But did she care not to risk her heart? Her future on something that had already been too much of a challenge? _A supernatural being. _After all, _she _was supernatural, too. Although, nothing so complicated as what she found herself mixed up into. But when all was said and done, Sookie had to admit to herself… _Bill _was the love of her life.

In spite of how much she loved and cared for Sam. In spite of how much Sam loved her. In spite of this rich, fulfilling life she and Sam had created together. Her feelingsfor _Bill _had never gone away.

But don't risk it all for a grande passionate love. Don't try to swim upstream. You are _not_ a salmon, Sookie! This was a love that at one time had taken her breath away. But that would have been foolish, she told herself. How would _that _have ended up? That was so…_unknown._

No, you did the right thing. You took the path that would ensure the steady, peaceful, compatible life with the guy who can ensure your safety. There is nothing wrong with that, Sookie said herself. It is more in tune with success.

But…is there any correlation really between being _happily married _and _how compatible you really are?_ Surely, there must be.

Because she is _living proof of it, _right?

Suddnely, Sookie stood up in the bath tub. She wasn't really able to relax in the tub anymore. She stepped out. She grabbed the towel, dried herself off quickly, and walked to the sink and peered into the mirror. The thoughts she was having were the most disturbing she had had in years!

Being with _Bill _all those years ago, had always meant fighting one thing or another. Fighting society. Fighting your friends and family. Fighting until you were bloody and tired. Until you eventually had to kill someone in self~defense of your own life! It had been challenging and difficult and a monumental sacrifice for _her _in one way or another. When they were together as a couple, Sookie had always looked at _Bill, _really looked at him. Truly handsome. Not just his physical appearance. But she allowed herself to look into his _handsome_ _soul._ The things that were important to him. The struggle to keep some semblance of his former self inside this otherworldly life he had to live in. His humanity. And Sookie understood all the things he had lost. Including his family. But _Bill _still maintained some marvelous attributes.

Along with all of his vampire instincts, his strength and his cunning, and his magnificent will~power, _Bill_ also has quite a sense of humor. His humor was very dry, but it made her laugh. He was so prim at times. Old~fashioned. Sookie smiled to herself.

But then, he could be wonderfully understanding, too. And _so _generous. Heartfelt. Sometimes even sentimental.

Those were only a few of the things that Sookie had loved about him, so many years ago. But it could never be.

A relationship with a vampire was just _too hard. And seriously, what about that blood thing? It was wonderfully erotic. Was she really, really secretly scared that one day…one day… Bill might have lost control and drank too much of her again? _Horrible things Sookie was allowing herself to think now.

With Sam, she hadn't had to sacrifice anything. She had someone who could really be a part of her life. No supe baggage that she had to wade through everyday. No weird pack rituals. No dangerous background. No hierarchy he had to report to. And he does not suck blood. Maybe that wasn't a plus, Sookie thought. She was ashamed of herself for even including that, because she did love to be bitten. She had loved _Bill _so.

But didn't these _other_ things matter? Of course they did!

Babies and breakfast and growing old together… all the things that matter…

All the things that _Bill _could never give her. _Bill knew all of that!_

They both did.

Around and around she went in her head. Ridiculous!

Sookie quickly washed her face. She scrubbed her forehead with soap, then her cheeks, looking disapprovingly at her reflection. She took the corner of the hand towel and wiped the steam from the glass… and she remembered… her first time with _Bill. When she had been sitting in the tub in his house. He had just made her a woman. And she was still giddy about the experience and how intimate she had been with him. And he knew she might feel better taking a nice, hot bath afterwards. He lit candles all around the tub. He knew exactly what she needed. And she had never felt so special. And she was falling more and more in love with him, with every passing moment they spent together. And she could not stop smiling. And he had taken his hand and wiped the steam from the mirror in the very same way. And Sookie had giggled, telling Bill that she had always thought, like the rest of the world, that vampires did not have a reflection in mirrors. Bill had turned his beautifully, muscular naked body to her, and walking up close with a brilliant smile of his own, he got into the bath tub with her. He informed her that this notion concerning the mirrors was just a myth that vampires had begun about themselves…along with holy water and garlic… Sookie remembered that incredible feeling. And feeling a little weak. She told Bill and looking into his sparkling, teasing blue eyes, he asked if she minded taking a B~12 tablet, because he had fed on her blood… And Sookie had asked him if she needed to take a tablet every day. And Bill said yes, if you don't mind…but no garlic. And they shared a laugh together. And he said he felt so honored because she had chosen him as her First. And after she had shared her greatest childhood pain with him, about her uncle, Bill had taken her into his arms while they sat together in that hot tub of water. And he told her to think about whatever she wanted to think about…he said, she was safe with him…" _

Sookie had never felt so loved…so safe. Not in all of her childhood. Not in growing up. Not like that. Not like what _Bill_ was giving to her just then. He accepted her completely. She wasn't weird or crazy to _Bill. _And now, she could not help but think about that loving memory. It had been a long time since she had a B~12 vitamin tablet.

Yes,_ Bill _had had his secrets back then. But his feelings for her had always been genuine. After some time, she had finally come to realise that. In those early days of their courtship, he had tried to comfort her. Because romantically, Sookie had been such a late~bloomer. So naïve and so immature. Not just about vampires. But about …_everything._

Now she thought to herself, _how on earth did Bill put up with her?_

Sookie could shake her head and laugh at herself about it. _Bill _had had his hands full. In more ways than one…

Why had she not listened to _Bill _more often? About vampires? About life? About all the things he knew, because he had _so_ much experience to tell her about. But she never appreciated it. Not one bit. Because she had been too _young and too stupid, _that's why! Sookie thought. So much heartache could have been avoided, if she had only been older, less naïve, and _listened_ to her vampire boyfriend!

Well… now she was both, she thought. Definitely older.

She peered again at her reflection in the mirror, lost in the old memories.

Many thanks she gave to the part of her Fae heritage that had a very _slow_ aging process. Sookie thought she did not look forty~seven…whatever forty~seven was supposed to look like.

She wrinkled her nose, blinking her eyes, looking at every new line in her skin that she had not noticed the week before. She wondered, would _Bill _think she looked decades older? Would he notice the few wispy, long strands of white/grey hair that was now faintly mingling with the blonde hair at her temples. It wasn't very pronounced. But Sookie could see it. She gazed at the little lines under her eyes and the new, delicate lines of crows feet that were still only soft indentions at the corners of her lashes. Nothing hard or jarring, yet. But she thought incredibly, I am almost _fifty_ now.

She sighed. Time would keep marching on.

Suddenly, she was upset. Her face flushed red. She pouted at her reflection.

_Was Bill Compton going to come back to Bon Temps every few decades and inspect her aging face?! Her aging body?! _

The thought of it made her livid. Then just as quickly, she felt sad and worried. She _hated_ the thought of _Bill _watching her growing older and older….

Sookie smirked. _Bill _had certainly worked things out, hadn't he?

But of course, there was always a balancing act with 'mainstreaming' vampires, wasn't there? They had to be human enough to be believable as friends and lovers. Because by nature, vampires are really _scary_ and _dangerous!_ Totally at the _mercy_ of their vampiric nature!

That was a pretty ugly thing to think, Sookie, she told herself. Why was she blaming _Bill _for her predicament. It was not _his _fault, the choices _she_ had made in life!

That's why _Bill _had gone away. To leave her to her own life. Her own fate. And it doesn't matter about anyone's nature, really.

Everything _dead or living can be cruel. _

Sookie was suddenly surprised to find that she was actually _nervous_ to come face to face with _Bill again. The vampire she had loved with her whole heart and soul. She was nervous. But she was even more afraid that she might not see him again, at all!_

How surreal was that? She was truly worried and nervous…

_When would she see Bill again? _

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"_I know you are asking yourselves, can anything really be perfect? No relationship can achieve perfection. But there is only one way to come as close as possible. By realizing that perfection is not when two people are simply together. It is when you both find yourselves 'opposite,' but in that way, you compliment and complete one another other. It's a mystery. But a lovely one in life. Why do we close our eyes when we pray? When we dream? When we kiss? Because we know…God tells us… that the most beautiful things in life are not seen….but felt by our hearts."_

C,J.'s graduation from Bon Temps High School was the very next evening. It was a joyous occasion of course. Both Sookie and Sam found it difficult to get through the special evening with dry eyes. No one blamed them.

C.J. had told Sam that he wanted to forego college and work at Merlotte's full~time learning the business from his mother and father. Sookie wanted C.J. to follow Isobel into the university setting. But Sam thought it would be better if C.J. had some practical business experience under his belt. Sookie could see, Sam really wanted to teach his son everything about running Merlotte's. So Sookie did not bring up college again for C.J. She knew her son had to find his own way in life. There would be time enough for college later, if that's what C.J. wanted in the future.

No sightings of _Bill Compton _that evening. No one had even mentioned his name. And Sookie did not want to ask anyone questions about him.

Sookie was beginning to wonder if _Bill _had made an appearance in town and then just left as suddenly as he had come. But, deep in her heart, she knew he wouldn't come back after all these years and not speak to her, at all. No, she thought to herself, some vampire business must be occupying his time for the moment.

Two days later, a van full of happy family and friends took a day trip, driving down to Baton Rouge to watch Miss Isobel Grace Merlotte receive her honors and veterinarian certificates of completion from the University of Louisiana. Isobel had already secured a position to work not too far from home, in Shreveport, at the animal hospital and shelter that was located there.

Her Momma and Daddy were so proud and happy that Isobel had not taken a job too far away.

It had been a gloriously sunny day. Not a cloud in the sky. The graduates, dressed in maroon~colored caps and gowns, had all marched across the long outside stage, beaming as graduates do. Shaking hands with the deans to receive the treasured sheepskins that signaled the beginning phase of their new lives. Academia was behind them now. Isobel raised her hand and waved into the audience. She blew a kiss to her parents.

Sookie glanced at Sam sitting beside her. More tears. They were both so proud of their children. Two graduations in one week.

The celebrations went on all day. They all stopped at the fancy _Harbour Town Inn_, just outside Baton Rouge, for an early supper on the road back to Bon Temps. Sam ordered and paid for steak for everyone! C. J., Sookie, and Isobel, of course. And Jason and his wife, Arlene, Terry.

Lafayette and Tara had driven down from Atlanta in Lafayette's red convertible and had followed them to the restaurant to eat. But they were traveling back to Atlanta before sunset. They had moved away from Bon Temps over ten years ago now, taking better paying jobs and pursuing their dreams. Lafayette had finally broken into the entertainment business. He did some modeling and had an agent who had been successful in getting him a few local commericals with a clothing store. Tara had got back into kick~boxing again. But now she was a promoter for several younger women. Their lives had taken a different path. And they both truly seemed happy. Lafayette gave each of Sookie's children an envelope after dessert.

C.J. opened his envelope right away. "Momma, look! A thousand dollars!"

It was in cash. Sookie didn't even want to think about what Lafayette might have done to earn that kind of cash, but she just nodded and smiled.

"Five hundred is from me," said Tara with a wink; "don't look so worried, Sook."

"And you, lil' dog, don't spend it all in one place," Lafayette smirked.

Sookie missed them both. It was so nice whenever she got to see them.

Good friends living far away and not in your daily life anymore was so very sad. But everyone had to go their own way in life….find what made them happiest. Sookie was glad that both of them had found the time to drive to Baton Rouge for Isobel's graduation.

It was after 7 pm. when they finally arrived to Bon Temps.

The house had been decorated for a party. Sookie had taken another day off from Merlotte's to get things ready, leaving Sam to run things alone at the bar, which she rarely ever did.

Everyone made it into the house. The refreshments were all ready. Sookie had taken care of that the day before. It was like night~time indoor picnic: ham and potato salad, deviled eggs, pickled okra, fresh greens, buttermilk biscuits and sweet tea.

As everyone was talking and settling down with their plates, Sookie walked outside on the porch for a breath of fresh air. June. The days were getting longer and hotter heading towards The Fourth of July. Maybe they could all go swimming the next day, Sookie wondered.

She took a couple of deep breaths of the humid evening air, looking to the western horizon as it continued to darken into a summer purple haze.

Almost on cue, the boy rode up to the front of the house on his bicycle.

"Hey Mackie!" Sookie smiled as he approached. It was Mackie Tyler.

The pre~teen boy who lived a few houses down on the other side of the cemetery.

"Good evenin', Ms. Merlotte," said the boy, climbing off his bike. He reached up into his shirt pocket and produced an envelope.

"Mr. Compton, across the cemetery? He told me to give this to you."

The boy held out an envelope to Sookie. She stared at it. She came slowly down off the porch steps, holding out her hand. She took the envelope from the boy.

"Thank you, Mackie…" Sookie said softly.

"Can I go in and make me a sandwich, ma'am?" he asked, blinking at her.

"Sure, Mackie…" said Sookie, still looking at the envelope;"go on in. There's plenty."

The boy dropped his bike right there and hurried up the porch steps and into the house. Sookie heard the laughter coming from the kitchen, as everyone was still eating and telling stories about the day. She stood alone, turning the envelope over in her hands. It was not sealed. And and it was not addressed on the outside. The flap was tugged inside and it was easy to open. She unfolded the single page. After all these years, she still recognized the black polished ink, on the delicate watermark paper. His sprawling, old~fashioned cursive. Even in the warmth of the evening air, it sent a shiver down her spine to gaze at his beautiful handwriting again:

"_**I do not love you as if you were the salt~rose, topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate their fire: I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.**_

_**I love you as the plant that does not bloom and carries hidden within itself the light of those flowers, and thanks to your love, darkly in my body lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.**_

_**I love you…without knowing how, or when, or from where.**_

_**I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way,**_

_**Because I do not know any other way of loving, but this…**_

_**In which there is no I or you, so intimately that your hand upon my **_

_**chest is my hand… so intimately that when I fall asleep, it is your**_

_**eyes that close." **_

_**Meet me in the cemetery. Eight o'clock.**_

_**~Bill**_

She stared down at the poem. And then at his request, that he had written at the end of it. She read it again. He wasn't even _asking _her to meet him.

He knew she would come.

Sookie closed her eyes and pressed the single sheet of white paper with the penned poem close to her chest. She let out a long sigh.

She remembered the poem. She remembered the time when he had read it aloud to her. It was from one of the _million and one_ books he owns. A poem by Pablo _somebody_… She could not recall the poet's last name. But she remembered telling _Bill, _it was the most romantic poem she had ever heard.

It had been just after she awakened one night. And _Bill _had been reading while she slept peacefully in his arms. Sookie remembered glancing over at him and asking, "are you readin' _poetry_ tonight?"

_Bill _had smiled, kissed her on the forehead and said, "yes…I am reading a lovely poem…about you."

And then he had read it out loud for her.

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"_Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you have. That you want to feel. And you have the right to do what makes you happy. Don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty for living your own life. It is your life. Live it the way you want to."_

"You're goin' to him, aren't you?"

Sookie heard Sam's voice behind her. She turned around and looked into his eyes as he stood above her on the porch landing. Sam wasn't really asking a question, either. He knew.

They had been married a long time. There would be no lies between them.

"Yes," Sookie said in a clear voice, looking directly at him; "yes Sam.

He wants me to meet him in the cemetery."

"Of course. Where else?" Sam said, smirking. "I knew it was only a matter of time. I guess, you have never forgiven me, have you? For the affair I had…when Isobel was nine-"

Sookie shook her head. God, she never wanted to talk about this again.

"No, Sam, no. This has nothin' to do with that. I _have_ forgiven you. I don't hold that against you. We put that behind us, didn't we? We said we would _never_ talk about it again."

"Yea, you stayed. Or you didn't throw me out. It was a mistake. Well, I guess there are _some_ things we can't put behind us, aren't there?" Sam said stepping down off the porch to stand in front of her; "Bill Compton. He's _never_ been outta the picture, has he? Not really. Did he get in touch with you before now-?"

"_No!_" Sookie shook her head again; "no, Sam. I swear it…not in all these… years."

Sam reached out and pulled the writing paper from Sookie's hands. She did not protest him looking at it. Sam took his time reading the poem. He stared at it, as if it were his fate. And he knew it was. And so did Sookie. Sam looked absently across the darkening yard for a moment. A huge bumblebee droned by in~between them, then darted away.

Sam continued smirking. He silently handed the paper back to Sookie. She gently folded it up and placed it back into the envelope.

"You _thought _you wanted this life_," _Sam said quietly, not looking at her.

"I _did _want this life," Sookie said just above a whisper; "I wanted you. I wanted our kids. And everything we've built together. That was _never_ a lie, Sam."

"But… you want him _more, don't you?_" Sam asked. "You always wanted Bill more."

Sookie looked up at Sam with dry eyes. She swallowed. She was not going to cry. There was nothing to cry about.

"I love him," Sookie said simply. It was just a fact of life. Like oxygen. There was nothing she could do about it. There was no use in lying about it.

"I have _always_ loved him. And Sam, you _always_ knew that."

Sam looked directly at Sookie. "Yeah. I guess I always have."

Sam threaded his fingers through his hair. Then he folded his arms across his chest. He looked into the dark yard again. The fire flies were blinking.

"I guess I always knew what would happen if Bill Compton _ever_ came back! What the hell. Don't give me no song and dance about you just talkin' to him tonight. Cause I know better about that too, Sookie."

Sookie lowered her eyes, at last. "I-I wanna find out why h-he's here-"

"_You're goin' away with him, Sookie! Don't bullshit me! Jesus Christ, just admit it!" _Sam raised his voice. Sookie stared at him. Her bottom lip was beginning to tremble. She bit it fiercely. She squared her shoulders back.

"Yes…if he asks me…I will," Sookie said bravely.

Sam nodded. "What do you mean _IF?! _He's gonna ask you, Sookie and you know it. Doesn't matter about the last _twenty years!"_

"Sam…."

"And you know, it's funny," said Sam sarcastically;"to this day, I _still_ don't know why I let myself get involved with Callie in the first place. I love you Sookie! I never wanted another woman. Not really. I don't know _why_ I let it happen!"

"Sam, I _know_ why you slept with Callie! I know why you turned to her. Because she loved you in a way I never could. Because I could never give you what you _really _needed from _me_! Deep down inside, Sam.

Because…I kept that part of myself…just for _Bill. _I know why it happened."

Sam just stared at her. Sookie touched his arm.

"I care for you, Sam…" Sookie said desperately; "I do. I never held your time with Callie against you. I forgave you, in my heart. I wanted to do the _right thing._ I wanted a _normal_ life! With normal things. I needed us to work! You and me. That's what we _both _needed. And it _did_ work for a long time. But… _Bill…Bill… _I don't think ….I don't think I can make you understand about _Bill and me. _Sam, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't you _dare_ say you're sorry to me," Sam snapped; "Oh, I understand!

You were always into the kids. You occupied most of your time with them a lot. And the bar…the business. We had that to keep us tied together, didn't we? But now, Isobel and C.J. are all grown up, aren't they? They got their own lives to live. Right Sookie?"

"They're not babies anymore, Sam," Sookie said slowly.

"Right. They're not babies anymore. And, tell me, what's twenty~two years to a vampire, Sookie? _Two months, maybe?_" Sam said smiling sarcastically. "Yeah, you're right, Sookie. I'm not goin' to beat myself up about Callie the waitress. Not anymore."

"We've had a lot between us, Sam," Sookie said; "I don't want to remember the bad stuff. We have so many good memories."

"Yeah," said Sam dryly; "Memories. I want to end it, anyway."

"Sam…"

"You never looked at me, the way you looked at _him. _I was never gonna get that."

Sookie remained silent.

Sam climbed back up the porch steps. He turned and looked back at Sookie.

"I'll tell everybody you had to run into town for somethin'…" he said; "we can discuss later what you want to tell the kids."

Then he opened the screen door, slamming it shut and disappeared inside.

Sookie turned and looked away from the house. She heard the laughter and the music playing in the parlor.

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"_What screws us up most in life, is the picture we have in our head of how things are 'supposed' to be… Love is not just about finding a good partner. It is about being a good partner. It's always a struggle to understand why someone's feelings have changed. They may never go back to being the person you fell in love with. Or the 'real' person, the one you never knew lived inside of them, has finally shown up and the person you loved, may have never existed….." _

She did not want to go back into the house. Not for anything. It would have made sense to go upstairs and take a look into the mirror first.

Splash some tepid water across her face, run a comb through her hair and maybe change her clothes since she had traveled to Baton Rouge in a pink suit and had been clad in it all day long. It would have made sense. But Sookie did not do any of those things. She knew nothing she did from this point forward would make any sense to anyone except her. And _Bill._

She could not wait to see him again.

Maybe if she had not repressed these feelings for so long, she would not have been so impulsive. Maybe she would have dealt with it better.

She had no watch, so she wasn't sure what time it was. It could not be after 8 p.m. already, she thought. She guessed, by the look of the evening sky, the orange haze at the horizon, above the purple haze, just above the treetops, that it was getting close to 7 pm. It did not matter. She would wait in the cemetery for an hour…or for three hours. After all, _Bill _had waited…. two decades.

"_Hope is the little voice you hear inside you that whispers 'maybe' when it seems the whole world is shouting 'no! it can't be that way!'_ _But it can. _

_It can be anything you want it to be. All you have to do is want it enough."_

Sookie tucked the envelope which concealed the perfect poem into the waist band of her skirt as she started the short trek down the street headed for the entrance to the _Bon Temps Cemetery. _She was still wearing the pink and white suit that she had worn to Isobel's commencement. Big plaid, pink with white stripes, a tan sleeveless blouse, flesh~colored stockings and taupe low pumps. The last conservative thing she promised herself she would ever wear.

What had she been afraid of, she asked herself as she walked on stepping briskly past all the familiar landmarks to the cemetery. And as she moved nearer and nearer to her destination, she recounted along the way everything she ever loved about _Bill Compton._ He was not like other vampires.

_Bill was so special._

Vampires were commonly perceived as only caring about themselves. Having the ability to be purely and unabashedly selfish most of the time. That was a peculiar fascination for the fang~bangers. But _Bill _was like no vampire Sookie had ever met. He had been the first vampire she had met. He he was in some ways, more human, more fair, more sensitive than most of the people she had met in her life. His sensitivity had sometimes made him easy prey to intense sufferings. Sookie hoped that he had found a modicum of peace for himself in the last twenty years. She wondered, had he made a wall surrounding himself with aesthetic pleasures. She remembered when he remolded his house when he was vampire king, how strong and masculine everything had been in his office.

Or had _Bill_ sought some solace in just his base, primal needs?

_Bill _had always been perfectly comfortable with his solitude. His quiet time. And she loved that about him. It had been a bonus for her, as well. That deep, rich quiet that she could get lost inside, when she was with him. Whether it was while reading his old masterpieces. Or playing his upright Steinway piano. Or just sitting very still with that pensive look on his face, puzzling out some problem he was contemplating, she remembered so well.

Sookie had always wished that she could show such self~reliance and autonomy as _Bill _had. She had envied his ability to not want or need a sidekick, ever. Or need groups and groups of people around him at all times.

He was wonderfully social when he had to be, but _Bill _was not an extrovert by heart. _Bill _had always been a minimalist. Her safe cocoon of confidence. She regretted now that she had never told him all these things.

But she would.

_Bill _was fearless. At least, he was not in fear of all the things that spook humans. Death and heights. Certainly not blood. Not the elements in general. His vampire nature made him extraordinarily powerful. But _Bill had _never used his power in an overt way. _Bill _was understated. And somewhat underestimated because of his lean physic. But he has keen senses. And a brilliant mind. That had nothing to do with being a vampire.

Sookie was so proud of his cleverness. She found out not all vampires were so smart. Just as some humans, logical thinking is not a given.

Sookie thought about every attribute _Bill _had. The fact that he had come to want to live among humans and 'mainstream.' He had always showed so much compassion and understanding of the human plight.

Sookie had seen _Bill _become completely fierce at times, as well. Cold, dominate and scary when a situation called for that from him. But for the most part, that was not _Bill's_ first response to anything. Even if it is a huge part of his vampire nature. There was so much more she loved about him.

The intimate things they had shared together….

And as she crossed the threshold into the darkness of the cemetery, Sookie allowed herself to think about _Bill's fangs. _

She indulged herself, finally, in thinking about the most erotic thing about him. Something she had not allowed herself to think about. The thing she had missed about him, almost as much as their making love. And making love with _Bill_ _Compton_ had always been wonderful.

His fangs were a part of that. The thing that had given her such pleasure, so many years ago. An indescribable pleasure.

Biting someone is considered the most primitive type of aggression possible. Those instincts go back to the very beginning of time and mankind. Using one's teeth is animalistic. Base. Untamed.

Biting comes right from the inside of us…from our gut. Sookie had never realized until she met _Bill _that mouths and teeth are sensual things. A sensuality that could be explored in a thousand and one ways.

Sookie had learned from being with _Bill_ that fangs are absolutely fascinating. They are even moreso, because they are kept hidden most of the time.

But when _Bill _brought out his fangs, or they simply appeared suddenly because he was feeling a very strong emotion, Sookie new something amazing was about to happen to her. Fangs. Sex. Blood.

Miraculously, as she thought of these things, Sookie realized she had compartmentalized her truest feelings for _Bill. _Trying to whisk awayher_ feelings for Bill_ into some 'friend zone' when she decided to marry Sam, knowing that she could never really keep him contained there.

Knowing full well that the love she felt for _Bill _had only been smouldering …like that mighty volcano, mostly underground. For years, her feelings had only pretended lying dormant, but still churning fire and bedrock way down beneath the surface.

Sookie realized that she was starting to pant as she was walking. She knew the way…past Gran's headstone. Across the little gravel path that lead closer to the Compton side of the huge, hushed yard. Past the last dimmed streetlamp. Past the place where one time _Bill _had crawled out of the moist earth itself and pulled her leg as she was walking, frightening the _shit_ out of her! Until she had recognized him.

They had fucked right there on the ground.

It was completely still now. The warm June night had no breeze. Sookie stopped walking when she passed the statue of the little cherub angel on the fence post. She sat down on the smooth granite boulder. Sookie looked up. There was a half moon in the sky. Her heart started beating faster. She had not felt anything like this in so long. She swallowed to catch her breath, clasping her hands together for support around the envelope that was tucked in the waistband of her skirt.

And she wondered, could _Bill_ still feel any of her emotions? Could he sense how nervous she was?

"Sookie…" she suddenly heard his silky voice behind her.

She stood up and turned, looking around behind her.

"I can still feel you, sweetheart…my darling…"

He was standing a little distance away in the moonlight. Wearing a dark blue knit shirt with three~quarter length sleeves. Dark blue jeans. The light fell on his strong chin, his high cheekbones making a shadow across his face. She recognized the thick, sculptured shape of his dark hair. His blue eyes were hidden in the shadows until he took another step towards her. Then Sookie saw his entire face. His skin was pale white, whiter than she remembered. The arch of his brows sleek and dark, his blue eyes sparkling like sapphires, as he looked intently at her. And his lips were the color of a persimmon, arrested and kind. It was her _Bill._

And he was not one day older than the last time she had seen him.

Of course he wasn't.

He was beautiful, as always. His pleasingly muscular build, under the tight~fitting knit shirt, moving as sleek as a panther just in front of her. He gave her that lovely, little crooked smile she remembered so well. And the tears came into her eyes without warning at the welcome sight of him.

He was at her side in an instant.

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"_If you want someone…show them. If you need someone…tell them._

_If you think they are worth it…..fight for them. Sometimes the hardest thing in the world to admit to herself is that you were wrong." _

"Oh, Bill….." she whispered.

She went directly into his arms and he hugged her, enveloped hersotightly at first. Then he suddenly backed away, but only far enough to take both her hands in his for a moment. He reverently held up both her arms, pressed the backs of her hands to his cold lips in a kiss, as if she were made of the most delicate, fine porcelin.

Sookie had forgotten how absolutely cold his skin could be. Or maybe it was just that his touch was in such contrast to the warmth of the June night.

His cool touch was welcome. Everything about being with _Bill _again was so welcome.

"_Life is about trusting your feelings, taking changes, finding your particular need, your type of happiness, learning from the past. And realizing…everything changes. Even what you used to want, can change."_

_Bill_ feasted on her, looking into her ebony eyes, totally at a loss for words.

"How do I look after all this time?" Sookie said, her first thought.

"Absolutely beautiful," said _Bill, _a wonderment in his voice.

"I don't…" Sookie said touching her cheek, blushing. "I'm forty~seven now, you know. Almost fifty."

"I know, Sookie," he said, still holding her hands in his.

"Much older and wiser, I hope," she said, gazing up into his face.

He took her hand away from her cheek. "Sookie, I am one hundred and ninety~eight years old," he smiled; "You don't look any older than the last time I saw you." His voice sounded like music to her ears.

Sookie chuckled. "Hah, I guess you get points for that one, _Bill Compton. _The fae gave me a lot of things, but I appreciate my good genes most of all."

_Bill's_ heart felt as if it was soaring somewhere outside his chest as he looked at Sookie. The moonlight shone across her face as he held onto her hands. He was loving every expression on her face, the way she wrinkled her nose.

"I don't care how old you are," he said seriously, nearly choking up; "I need you, Sookie…I love you. I cannot wander this earth another night without you…"

They came together and kissed each other deeply. It was the ignition switch to their passion, to their intimacy, to the love that Sookie had lain dormant for so long. And Bill had waited a lifetime to reconstitute. Now, the two of them ever having been parted seemed pattently ridiculous to them both.

They pressed their foreheads together, hugging, determined to still the world until they could bring it right again by holding each other.

She regarded him very solemnly. "_Bill, _where have you been_?"_

"Everywhere," he said. "Three times over. Like a haunted vagabond, searching for his lost soul. You know, none of it makes any sense, don't you?"

"I _hated_ for you to go," she whined, squeezing him round his waist.

"But I had to go, Sookie," he said quickly. "Every day, I could feel myself growing more and more jealous, thinking about how Sam was making you happy, giving you all the things that I never could. I understand what had with Sam. I've thought about it everyday for the last twenty~two years. A real husband. Every day and every night. He is available for you all the time. And your children. And all the danger is gone from your life. Well, the supernatural kind, anyway. I understand Sookie. You know, I do. But, I always knew in my heart…we belonged to each other."

"_Yes!_" Sookie said crying. "Yes, we do. I love you, _Bill, _every bit as much as I always have. Even with everything I wanted…it hasn't been enough."

He encircled her waist with both his arms.

"Sookie….I've come back for you," he whispered; "God help me…this is madness. Us…. being apart."

He caught one of her tears on the tip of his thumb, his fingers gently touching her cheek.

"I know, _Bill." _she said; "I know you are here to take me with you. You were thinking…I'll let her have her sun. Her children_… _Hercomfortable life with Sam… Well, you were right, sweetheart. I don't want to live without you anymore." She turned her head and kissed his palm.

"Oh, my love…" _Bill's _voice trembled; "I swear, I wasn't contemplating it when I left. I was going to try and stay away. But… I had to know. I had to come back and see if you had changed your mind. I hoped you would say that to me. No grandchildren?"

"_Grandchildren?" _Sookie blinked up at him.

"The grandchildren you talked about…wanted to see someday…? Shall I come back after you've seen them? Ten more years, perhaps?"

Sookie caught the gleam in his eye and she knew _Bill_ was teasing her.

"Hell no, _Bill Compton_," she protested flatly, making a fist and hitting him playfully on his shoulder blade. "I would still like to look_ somewhat_ desirable to you."

He kissed her cheek. "Sookie….I will desire you… always…. I never wanted you to give up anything to have the life you wanted. Why should you? I would not ask that of you. I love you, too much. Sookie, I-I.."

Sookie could see his hesitation, again. He wasn't teasing this time. There was something else _Bill _wanted to say to her.

"Nothing else stands between us, do you hear me?" Sookie said firmly, but gently; "Bill. What are you thinking this very second? Tell me the truth of what you feel."

_Bill _steadied himself. He looked deep into Sookie's eyes. It reminded her of the time he had attempted to tell her about Jessica. She got the same feeling from him.

"Alright then." he said. "I have been twenty~two years without you, Sookie. I want you, Sookie. I am vampire. I want you for all eternity. I am being selfish now. The truth of it is…I do not want to watch you grow old and die before me. I know that's hard for you to hear. But it's how I really feel. Now that we have each other again, I want you beside me Sookie….always."

Sookie sighed. "Thank you for your honesty, Mr. Compton."

"We've talked about this before, Sookie. Long ago," _Bill _said; "…watching you fade away from me will be horrible. I - I want you with me for as long as possible. All my heart belongs to you, my darling. And with you I will remain, even if there is no forever. I would never do that to you. You know, turn you. Because you don't want it."

Sookie stared up at him.

"Well….I think we have been just about as noble and unselfish as two people can be. I think we've covered that plenty. And after twenty~two years, how do you know what I want anymore?" Sookie asked him.

_Bill _looked at her incredulously. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I want you to bite me, _Bill._ Like you _really_ mean it," Sookie said, her eyes wide, her hands holding his head steady."I mean… like _forever._

I am serious, _Bill. _Iam going into eternity with you."

_Bill was _speechless for a moment. He blinked at her. He shook his head.

"You don't mean that. You'll change your mind, Sookie. You don't want that. A vampire can only be a vampire, "_Bill _said; "you can be-you _have been_ so much more in your life." Sookie shook her head.

"The biggest mistake I've made is not making a choice for love. I should have never gone through this life without you, _Bill. _I was afraid to feel this way twenty years ago. Don't get me wrong…I love my children…but they cannot be my life. _My life!_ And Sam knows he cannot be my live anymore. I don't love him the way I love you! I am not going to let you walk away again, _Bill Compton. _Not for any reason. _I don't want to be human, more than I want you!" _

Sookie looked into the honesty of those azure blue eyes of his, shining back like two beams into hers. He looked worried. Non-believing.

"You are a remarkable woman, Sookie Stackhouse," _Bill_ said;

"I adore you, Sookie. I love you even more with the passing of time…"

"You don't believe me, at all, do you?" she asked him; "Well, let's argue about it on the way back to your house."

She smiled at him. Knowing she was serious.

Dead serious.

There was a part of Sookie that was just enjoying _Bill's_ presence. The calm and reassuring way he always had about him. The melodious quality of his voice, that she had not heard in so very long. It was as if her world had stopped, frozen in time somehow, and twenty~two years had melted away.

Sookie's mind was eating it up, every moment, the moonlight they stood in, _Bill's_ every word, his mannerisms, his essence beside her. Her mind was consumed and satisfied with every mouth~watering morsel that was _Bill. _

It was a time~warp. But then again, it was also about her future. Seductive and cloying and enticing. All she had to be was _Bill's Sookie. _Not a wife. Not a mother. Not the head of the Little League Association or a Friday night usher at the church or the co~owner of Merlotte's.

When she was with _Bill…_she was just _Sookie. _

Somewhere in her mind, she knew that other world, the world she had inhabited for two decades carried on without her. But for all the knowledge of that important fact, Sookie never wanted to leave him. No hesitations. No reservations.

And just as she had always known ~ had hidden away her truest feelings ~ at that moment she knew absolutely, she was not going back.

In spite of all those other things, practical things, 'normal' things. All the 'good reasons' that had pathed the way for her _not_ to be with _Bill_ for so long. None of it mattered in the face of her living a lie without him.

She loved _Bill. And she had made up her mind to stay with him. _

_In every way._

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"_Don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty for living your own life. It is your life. Your time on this earth. Live it the way you want to."_

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_Bill longed to unveil the mystic secrets of her flesh again. To run his hands madly along the soft, tawny curves of her shimmering, tan form. _

_The love Sookie had for her vampire, that she had sealed away for so long, so deeply in a place so private, she could not wait to have him open it up again. Reveal it to them both…unveiling the powerful emotion of what they feel for each other…again. _

_The short walk to his house turned into the vamp speed experience that Sookie had forgotten felt so amazing, as in just under a minute, _Bill _had her upstairs and into his master bedroom._ _They were still madly in love with each other, that was certain. And this was now infused with an enormous sense of 'coming home' for each of them._

_If they had not wanted to make love to each other so badly, they might have delighted in just staring at one another's naked bodies all night. Tracing their fingertips along each other slowly. But as it was, they felt some urgency to consummate again what they had missed in each other for so long. The physical side of their abiding love was now in the forefront of their senses. They both felt open and curious and wanted to follow their instincts wherever it wanted to go._

"_I have missed… every thing about you, Sookie," Bill whispered._

_He had longed for her body, ached to touch her like this for so long…. Every curve. Every freckle that made her his Sookie. No one and nothing could come close to touching what Sookie had touched in him. Not in twenty years. Not in several lifetimes. She was one of a kind. And now she was his again. _

_As she lay on her back, Bill kissed a tiny brown mole that he remembered just above the valley to her breasts. Then another, just below her navel. He traced his fingers down along side her rib cage, lowered his head and kissed a long~faded stretch mark left there by one of her children. _

_It did not matter. It was her body. He loved every human thing about her. And he had missed every square inch of her. _

_Sookie relaxed and felt every sensual detail of what she had stifled down for twenty years inside her. The greatest foreplay had gone on in her head, in her dreams about Bill. The question had occurred to them both, separately. Would they ever be together again? Would she ever surrender again to this magnificent creature that loved her more than his own life? _

_Bill cross every sensory threshold with Sookie. He played with her hair, bunching it up into his hands, letting it fall through his fingers, kneading the strands right down to her scalp. He nestled his mouth slowly across each one of Sookie's breasts, tasting the sweetness of her nipples, dipping his chin, his tongue into the little valley between them, closing his eyes in ecstacy drinking in her scent as she whispered to him. _

_Sookie buried her nose against the soft curls on Bill's chest. She stretched her arms round him, squeezing his firm bottom in her hands, relishing the feel of his weight across her. _

"_Oh Bill… I want to feel you all the way inside me now…and to the deepest, darkest corner…I will go with you…" Sookie said, lifting his chin; "I want to feel you…your body pinning me down, ohh it feels so good …oh Bill, fuck me deep…do it now… Billlll…" _

_She moaned as Bill rose up stroking his rod into the heat of her deep, hidden treasure. She was already wet and expectant of his arrival inside her. _

_This intensely pleasurable moment was increased tenfold because of their long~awaited passion for one another. _

_Sookie pulled Bill down with her legs and arms, so desperately wanting his kiss. They torridly went fully into it, their tongues twisting and melding, salving up with a hot, wet friction, soon mimicking the motion of their flailing bodies. Mind~blowing, heart~opening and hot, the path to their ultimate release together was locked and set. _

_Sookie knew at one time, she must have wanted Bill in the same way, but at that moment she could not remember wanting him more. She let go of any expectations. She just wanted to feel. She made room for every new possibility. Bill pistoned her deeply with his manhood again, like a heavy drill bit going in and down, finding its mark in her bottomless suction, coming back with precision, then perfecting the same motion down inside her again and again. He knew what she wanted. Her every desire. The wave began to crest, crashing through into her, into a million rippling pieces. _

_After a few minutes of bare sensitivity, flesh into flesh, everything else was stripped away, until all that was left were two people and their heightened nerve endings. Sookie was on the edge entering an orgasmic state. She felt part of her brain going silent, going numb. There was darkness, there was light. There was a sense of safety being with Bill, and a sense of falling helplessly through time where nothing she could utter, no gyration in her body she could not share with him. She had given everything over to him._

_A whole other world existed. He was no longer just a part of her. And she was no longer just a part of him. They were inside out in each other. Because it was so much more than just sex with Bill. _

_She was not just ready for an orgasm. She was ready to let go of everything. Everything she had ever been taught to hold on to. And replace it with what feels good and right for her. Then she felt it all coming through. The most sensational, exciting, spectacular feeling that can vibrate through the human body. She climaxed with a fury, peaking several times as Bill kept filling her, holding her tightly. _

"_Sookie…?" Bill questioned her as he clung to her, his lips fused to her shoulder. He had to know once more. He raised up to find her eyes, knowing that if she faltered….he would understand. _

"_Yes, yes…Bill…" Sookie said breathlessly, her knees up cradling his either side of his rib cage; "I won't change my mind…do it!" _

_The pleasure continued expanding throughout her body, and then in a blinding sharpness, she felt Bill's razor~sharp fangs going into the side of her throat. It had been a long time since she had felt the all~consuming intensity of his vampire's kiss: the penetration and the drawing of her blood. She felt it so strongly, right down to her toes, as she floated away, almost like a virgin again to his piercing. _

_Sookie's shut her eyes. She knew Bill was still inside her and still drawing her blood. She listened to the life~giving liquid as it was rushing in her ears, rushing from her body. After several minutes, the wound he had made and Bill's fangs no longer had any pronounced feeling for her. Her blood felt like it was moving through a tiny stream, a ribbon, threading inside and then outside of her body. Like water, a stream flowing from a never~ending spring. And there was a feeling almost as shrill and clear as a voice from the other side of her awareness, that seemed to be going on and on and on. _

_Bill's lips were cold as ice on her skin and now even as she tried to open her eyes, it seemed that she could not…. The feeling from the other side was now slow and deep, weaving its way as she felt herself losing consciousness. Her arms went away. Her legs went away. There was only Bill, still pulling at her throat. _

_Sookie went through multiple peaks and valleys; she felt saturated, engulfed roundabout. It feelings were simple and complex at the same time. The feeling brought about a quiet and a calmness into Sookie. A feeling of intimacy, deep and lush and dark. Darkness all around. _

_She was unable to speak Bill's name, although she wanted to so badly. But she was not alone. She knew Bill was right there with her. He was all around her. She could feel his essence. She could feel his strength. And his goodness. And most of all, she could feel his undying love for her. _

_Yes… Bill was there. He would never leave her… not ever again._

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"_I love you, my darling children…..Isobel….C.J…. I hope some day when you look back, you can do it with a forgiving heart for your Momma. I hope one day you will understand what I have chosen to do. Life is too short to be anything but happy. So love deeply. Forgive quickly. Take chances. And never get stuck on regrets. Don't let the mistakes of the past ruin your future. _

_True love isn't always easy. But it must be fought for. Because once you find it, it can never be replaced. And when you look to the future, your own future, please pray to God to give you the strength to do the right thing for yourselves. I know you will both find your best paths in life. The path that no one else can walk, but you. I have finally realized the wisest way to live is always in the present. We really have nothing else. _

_Be grateful, children, for every blessing that comes your way. For every blessing you have been given. _

_Please, watch over your daddy. He is a good man. You know, he has been so wonderful to all of us. But especially to you. He loves you so much, and all he wants is for you both to live happy lives And so do I. _

_Listen to his advice. He will always guide you in the right way. _

_I will always love you ~ _

_Your Momma, Sookie xx"_

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Sookie had finally finished the letter she had been writing to her children. She wanted to finish it before she and Bill had left Bon Temps. It had taken her a long time to construct it just the way she wanted it. Sookie had read it over and over, seemed like a thousand times. It was almost twenty pages long. The most difficult thing she had ever done.

_Bill _had watched her, hunched down over the writing desk, trying to get all of her thoughts together and get them down on the pages.

_Bill_ never interrupted her as she was writing. He would just silently leave the room so she could finish it the way she wanted to.

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_Bill _brought his arms up and over Sookie's head, careful to clear his elbows from around any of the freshly fashioned curls, that she had spent a considerable amount of time fussing with. Why, he did not know, because there was a dampness in the outside air that evening.

"Can I look now?" Sookie squealed excitedly. _Bill_ had asked her to close her eyes.

"No, not until I get the clasp locked," said _Bill. _"No peeking, Sookie."

He worked each tiny end of the jewelry clasp, until he had successfully closed it, and the diamond dropped into place around Sookie's neck. She brought her fingers over the ornament as she felt _Bill's _palms on her shoulders.

"Okay, open your eyes," he said.

Sookie popped open her eyes, now staring straight ahead at her reflection in the gilded mirror in front of her and _Bill. _She looked at the exquisite piece of jewelry that _Bill _had bought her for her birthday. It was the diamond fairy necklace with ruby wings. She had admired it in a store window, as they had been strolling along the _Champs~Elysees _a few nights ago.

_Bill _was grinning behind her. He had had one of his staff retrieve the diamond earlier in the day, before he and Sookie arose.

"_Oh, my God, Bill." _Sookie gasped; "You have to stop… buying me all of these expensive bobbles."

"Never." _Bill_ hugged her from behind, his heart so filled with joy he thought it might burst. Thought it was in danger of bursting at any time over the last two weeks. His first two weeks together with Sookie had been indescribably wonderful. And to think, they had all the time in the world to be together. To love each other. He could have never dreamed of _this._

"Do you like it?" he smiled, squeezing her affectionately, looking at the necklace in the mirror.

"Oh Bill…it's….it's _so beautiful," _Sookie sighed, touching the little ornamental fairy with her fingertips. "Just like…everything else you have spoiled me with recently."

The necklace stood out strikingly against her long~sleeved purple blouse. She was also wearing black jeans like _Bill. _And some sensible flat shoes. It had drizzled rain at dust right before they had awakened and Sookie was concerned that the grass in the park would probably still be damp.

"Good. Because your lovely throat was made for precious stones," _Bill_ said warmly, placing a kiss at her temple. "Now, are you ready to go? I promised to show you the river…"

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They walked the short distance from _Bill's _condo, arriving at the parkway along the Seine River, a little after 6:30 p.m. It was still damp, but the rain had stopped. The mist rose from the still warm cement and the acorn-scattered trails just in front of them. They slowly strolled along side the peaceful river. The Eiffel Tower was off in the distance to their left, lit up festively against the darkened sky. Every now and again, _Bill _would affectionately nuzzle his nose into Sookie's hair on the top of her head as they walked.

Sookie had realized about a day later after she had first met vampire _Bill, _that the world could be a strange and dangerous, but still a beautiful place. And sometimes you have to accept the 'strangeness' in you, because what may be strange and not so 'normal' may be the _one_ thing that helps you survive in a crazy world.

She had no more fear of the world. No more fear of the water.

No fear of anything. She pulled _Bill's _arm closer around her shoulder as they walked on silently along the path together. Now she knew it all.

All of those years, growing up, being different, being laughed at, her uncle's horrible advances, losing her parents, her extraordinary gift, she could not believe that anyone could _really _love her. Not for herself. She had a sense of being totally abandoned by her parents. Not even her brother Jason could fill the void she felt. Then Gran was gone. Sookie realized she was making life decisions through the warped reflection of her insecurities.

Is that why she had clung so tightly to Sam? Constantly looking for the evidence that she was unloved? Even after doing everything that dear Gran had said she was _supposed_ to do to make her happy, it was not enough.

Sookie thought, maybe she _had _genuinely been attracted to Sam at one time. It would have been long before she had met _Bill. _Or maybe what ultimately threw her and Sam together was the magic of the cluviel dor…

Had the magic influenced her feelings, even just a little? Pushed her over the edge to start a 'normal' life with Sam? For a very long time, that's what she thought she wanted. Sookie had straddled the fence with her feelings…

For twenty~two years.

One time, Sam had wanted to move from Lousiana to Arkansas. And every time he brought it up, Sookie would not hear of it. They had a huge fight about it. Sookie had said the mortgage on the bar was still too much. They had too many ties to the community and too many bills. The children were too young, She didn't want to change the kids schools at their tender ages. She made up every excuse she could think of to stay in Bon Temps. But Sookie did not want to go because deep inside she knew _Bill_ was coming back for her….some day.

"As if I would not have found you in Arkansas," _Bill _had teased her.

She had kissed _Bill's_ mouth so hard when he said that.

Everything made sense now. Waking at dusk with _Bill _there beside her. She had no hunger. No thirst. No more insecurities. Hardly any vulnerabilties. Her hair was shinier. Her dark eyes brighter. Her love only growing deeper. _Bill _hadsaid with a straight face of course, that a baby vamp needed a lot of nurturing and care.

And of course he knew all about that.

For the longest time, Sookie had thought it would be her and Sam sitting on the porch, sipping lemonade under a full moon, in their old age, talking about the events of the day.

But no.

Here she was at last. With _Bill. _Sitting on a cozy park bench near the Seine in Paris, his arm around her. A full moon, yes. White clouds now opening up in the dark expanse of the sky to reveal a tapestry of twinkling stars. Everything in the sky so close and so clear with her new vision.

She and _Bill _would always be together.

Forever mine.

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On the day Sookie's letter arrived at the house, Isobel had driven over to Monroe with her friends to get manicures and pedicures at the Mall. College was starting in the fall. Isobel had so many things to get ready.

C.J. had gone to a basketball game with some of his high school friends, so he would not return until late.

Sam had swung back by the house to pick up some invoices he needed for Merlotte's that afternoon. He picked up the bulky letter because he recognized Sookie's square, neat handwriting. Although the envelope was addressed to Isobel and C.J., Sam opened it up.

He read Sookie's heartfelt letter to their children.

Then, without the slightly hesitation, he promptly dropped the envelope and the letter with all of its pages into the brass waste paper bucket in the parlor. He struck a match from the fireplace mantel and tossed it in.

He patiently watched as the blue flames licked the pages of the fine writing paper. _Bill's writing paper. _It turned bright orange and then into red, the corners twisting up into a ball.

And he waited until every page had burnt into a black crisp in the bottom of the brass bucket.

~The End~


End file.
